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A bishop, a judge, and a conductor were discussing their careers, and got into an argument about which of them was the greatest.

The judge said, “When I step into the courtroom, everyone stands to pay me respect.”

The bishop said, “They stand? I have people kneel before me and kiss my ring.”

To which the conductor replied, “Ha! I got you both beat. When I step on the podium people look down, cover their eyes, and say ‘Oh my God!’

In 1813, the Shawnee Indian Chief Tecumseh was killed while fighting on the side of the British during the War of 1812.

In 1918, Germany’s Hindenburg Line was broken as World War I neared an end.

In 1930, the Airship R-101 crash-landed in France.

In 1965, Pope Paul VI made an unprecedented 14-hour visit to New York to plead for world peace before the United Nations.

In 1973, Egypt and Syria, hoping to win back territory lost to Israel during the third Arab-Israeli war, launched a coordinated attack against Israel on
Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar.

In 1989, TV evangelist Jim Bakker was convicted on 24 counts of fraud and conspiracy for fleecing his PTL flock.

Also in 1989, the Dalai Lama won the Nobel Peace Prize for nonviolent efforts to free his homeland from China.

In 1991, Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, responding to unilateral U.S. action, announced cuts in nuclear weapons that would reduce the number of strategic
warheads to 5,000 in seven years.

In 1993, U.S. President Bill Clinton ordered the resumption in nuclear testing after China broke the informal moratorium and exploded a nuclear device
beneath its western desert.

In 1994, 53 members of a secretive religious cult were found dead — the victims of murder or suicide — over a two-day period in Switzerland and Canada.

In 1995, U.S. President Bill Clinton announced the warring parties in Bosnia had agreed to a cease-fire.

In 1999, MCI WorldCom Inc. announced that it had agreed to buy the Sprint Corp. in a $129 billion deal that would be the largest corporate acquisition
ever at that point.

In 2000, hundreds of thousands of Yugoslavians overthrew the Belgrade government, causing Slobodan Milosevic, the defeated presidential incumbent, to resign,
ending 13 years of rule.

In 2001, Robert Stevens, photo editor for America media Inc. of Boca Raton Fla., publisher of the National Enquirer and other tabloids, died after being
infected with anthrax.

And in 2001 sports, Barry Bonds hit his 71st home run, most by a player in one season, breaking Mark McGwire’s 1998 Major League Baseball record. The San
Francisco Giants slugger finished the season with 73 homers.

In 2005, scientists announced that a form of bird flu that jumped directly to humans was the real cause of a 1918 pandemic that killed an estimated 50
million people worldwide.

In 2007, U.S. sprinter Marion Jones, who won five medals during the 2000 Olympic Games, three of them gold, admitted taking steroids to enhance her track
performance. She drew a two-year ban and forfeiture of medals on her guilty plea to lying to federal investigators.

In 2008, strategists in both major U.S. political parties say the country’s economic turmoil is changing the presidential electoral map in favor of Democrat
Barack Obama.

Also in 2008, the commander of Somali pirates holding a Ukrainian ship hostage for $30 million ransom in the Indian Ocean says he is prepared for any kind
of assault.

In 2009, the investigating U.N. nuclear agency concluded that Iran had “sufficient information to be able to design and produce” an atomic bomb.

In 1777, American forces under Gen. George Washington were defeated by the British in a battle at Germantown, Pa.
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In 1876, the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas, now Texas AandM, opened. It was the first public higher education institution in Texas.
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In 1883, the Orient Express train made it first run.
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In 1890, Mormons in Utah renounced polygamy.
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In 1895, the U.S. Open men’s golf tournament is first contested. It was won by Horace Rawlins.
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In 1957, the Soviet Union launched the first man-made space satellite, Sputnik 1.
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In 1965, Pope Paul VI arrived at Kennedy International Airport in New York on the first visit by a reigning pope to the United States. less-than br
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In 1976, Earl Butz resigned as U.S. agriculture secretary with an apology for what he called the “gross indiscretion” of uttering a racist remark.
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In 1989, Art Shell was hired by the Oakland Raiders as the first black head coach in the modern National Football League.
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In 1991, the United States and 23 other countries signed an agreement banning mineral and oil exploration in Antarctica for 50 years. less-than br
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In 1992, as many as 250 people were killed when an El Also 747 cargo plane crashed into an apartment building on the outskirts of Amsterdam.
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Also in 1992, the Mozambique government and RENAMO rebels signed a historic peace accord, ending 16 years of civil war in the southeast African nation.
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In 1993, U.S. President Bill Clinton ordered several hundred more U.S. troops to Somalia one day after the deaths of three U.S. Marines in Mogadishu.
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In 2001, a Siberian Airlines jetliner exploded and plunged into the Black Sea, killing all 64 passengers and 12 crew members. The United States said evidence showed the plane had been hit by a missile fired during a Ukrainian military training exercise.
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And in 2001 sports, Rickey Henderson of the San Diego Padres scored his 2,246th run, breaking Ty Cobb’s Major League Baseball record. less-than br
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In 2002, the so-called shoe bomber, Richard Reid, pleaded guilty to charges against him stemming from his alleged effort to detonate explosives hidden in his sneakers during a 2001 Paris-to-Miami flight. less-than br
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In 2003, a suicide bomber killed herself and 19 others in an attack on a crowded restaurant in the northern Israeli port of Haifa.
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In 2004, SpaceShipOne, the first privately funded rocket to reach the edge of space, flew to an altitude above 62 miles over the California desert.
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Also in 2004, Gordon Cooper, one of the first U.S. astronauts, who logged more than 225 hours in space, died at his California home. He was 77.
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In 2006, U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law a bill allocating funds for a 700-mile bridge on the United States-Mexico border to help control immigration.
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In 2007, the U.S. Justice Department issued a secret, so-called “torture memo” endorsing harsh interrogation techniques, The New York Times reported.
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Also in 2007, at least 30 people died in a plane crash shortly after takeoff from Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
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In 2008, the U.S. Labor Department announced the United States lost 159,000 jobs in September, the most in five years.
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In 2009, the Panhellenic Socialist Movement scored a landslide victory in the Greek elections. U.S.-born George Papandreou became prime minister, following in the footsteps of his father and grandfather. less-than br
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of
white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”