Notable Birtdays For March 19
Those born on this date include:
- Plymouth Colony Gov. William Bradford in 1590
- Scottish explorer of Africa David Livingstone in 1813
- Marshal Wyatt Earp in 1848
- Jurist William Jennings Bryan in 1860
- Chief U.S. Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren in 1891
- Watergate Judge John Sirica in 1904
- Actor Patrick McGoohan in 1928
- Author Philip Roth in 1933 (age 77)
- Actress Ursula Andress in 1936 (age 74)
- Actress Glenn Close in 1947 (age 63)
- Actor Bruce Willis in 1955 (age 55)
This Day In History: March 19
In 721 B.C., the Roman historian Ptolemy said Babylonian astronomers noted history’s first recorded eclipse: an eclipse of the moon.
In 1915, Pluto was photographed for the first time, but not recognized as a planet.
In 1916, the first U.S. air combat mission in history saw eight Curtiss “Jenny” planes of the First Aero Squadron take off from Columbus, N.M., to aid
troops that had invaded Mexico in pursuit of the bandit Pancho Villa.
In 1918, the U.S. Congress passed the Standard Time Act, which authorized the Interstate Commerce Commission to establish standard time zones in the United
States.
In 1920, the Treaty of Versailles, establishing the League of Nations, was rejected by the U.S. Senate.
In 1931, in an effort to ease the hard times of the Great Depression, the Nevada Legislature voted to legalize gambling.
In 1942, with World War II under way, all men in the United States between the ages of 45 and 64, about 13 million, were ordered to register with the draft
boards for non-military duty.
In 1953, legendary filmmaker Cecil B. DeMille won the only Academy Award of his career when “The Greatest Show on Earth,” a big-budget extravaganza about
circus life, was acclaimed the Best Picture of the year.
In 1987, South Carolina televangelist Jim Bakker resigned as head of the PTL Club, saying he was blackmailed after a sexual encounter with former church
secretary Jessica Hahn.
In 1991, Khaleda Zia became the first woman prime minister of Bangladesh.
In 2002, Israel completed its army’s pullout of the West Bank by leaving Bethlehem one day after Israeli Prime Minister Arial Sharon met with U.S. Vice
President Dick Cheney. The following day a suicide bomber killed seven Israelis on a bus.
In 2003, the U.S.-led military offensive invaded Iraq with a nighttime assault on Baghdad.
Also in 2003, the U.S. Senate rejected a proposal supported by the Bush administration to allow drilling for oil in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge.
In 2004, on the first anniversary of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, officials said 571 U.S. military personnel had been killed.
In 2005, Pakistan was reported to have successfully tested a nuclear-capable missile with a range of 1,250 miles.
In 2006, the disputed presidential election in Belarus sparked street protests throughout the country while international observers alleged fraud. Incumbent
Alexander Lukashenko, who claimed 82.6 percent of the vote, was accused of rigging the election.
In 2007, U.S. President George Bush, in a speech marking the fourth anniversary of the Iraq war, said he saw some gains through the recent troop surge
but it would take months to show substantial progress.
Also in 2007, a detainee at Guantanamo Bay allegedly admitted helping plan the bombings of the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, and the USS Cole in Yemen.
In 2008, for the sixth time in six months, the U.S. Federal Reserve cut short term interest rates, this time to 2.25 percent, in an effort to stabilize
financial markets.
Also in 2008, U.S. President George Bush marked the five-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq by calling it a fight the United States “can and must
win.” He said removing Saddam Hussein from power “was the right decision.”
The Best of Late Night
“Toyota is starting to fight back. Today, they cast doubt on the story of that guy remember the guy last week that said his Prius accelerated out of control
on the freeway? They said they found significant inconsistencies in his story. And let me tell you something, that’s embarrassing when a car dealer calls
you a liar.” Jay Leno
“In an interview in GQ magazine, John Edwards’s mistress said she slept with him on the first day they met, but she wasn’t his mistress, she was just playing
the role. And, apparently, the audition went so well, she got the job!” Jay Leno
“Sarah Palin, out in Arizona, is campaigning with John McCain. He’s running for Senate re-election. They’re campaigning together out there. I thought,
yeah, I mean, there’s an unbeatable combination.” David Letterman
“You guys see the ‘GQ’ pictures of John Edwards’ mistress, Rielle Hunter? Today, she called them ‘repulsive’, and says she trusted ‘GQ’’s photographer
to take classy photos. Yeah, because anytime I’m on a bed in nothing but dress shirt and underwear next to a Dora the Explorer doll, I think, ‘This is
gonna look classy.’” Jimmy Fallon
“C-SPAN is uploading 23 years of video on the Internet. Or if you want to get the sensation of watching 23 years of C-SPAN, just watch 2 minutes of C-SPAN.”
Jimmy Fallon
“It seems The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson’s disease. So what are they telling
us? Follow me guys. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson’s
disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. You know, screw health care. Let’s party!” Jay Leno
“Hey, learning more and more about that homegrown terrorist, that woman, Colleen LaRose, also known as Jihad Jane. They’re calling her the most dangerous
person to come out of Pennsylvania since Ben Roethlisberger.” Jay Leno
“President Obama talked about health care reform at a senior center in Strongsville, Ohio, today. The most common question he got: ‘When’s bingo?’” Jimmy
Fallon
“Everybody changed their clocks this weekend for daylight savings. So you move it ahead. And even the Taliban move their clocks ahead. They moved it up
to the 11th century. So that’s good.” David Letterman
“This week was dominated by Congressman Eric Massa, the amazing groping, tickling, snorkeling congressman. America was shocked to learn there is another
closeted gay congressman and he’s not a Republican.” Bill Maher
“He went on Glenn Beck and told about his 50th birthday party, with all men, and they got into a big tickle fight. You know, like guys do. Don’t you hate
that, when you’re in a big, giggling pig-pile of dudes and people try to make it into something gay?” Bill Maher
Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Puzzling
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able
to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and
then…” He sighed…
“Let’s put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box…”
Do You Qualify To Be A Professional?
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether
you are qualified to be a professional.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through
the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend… except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you
did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one
more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.
Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal
Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to a Worldwide Consulting Company, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers
got several correct answers. The Consulting Company says this conclusively
disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a
four-year-old.
Classic Quotes by Grover Cleveland
Classic Quotes by Grover Cleveland
1837-1908
American President
A truly American sentiment recognizes the dignity of labor and the fact that honor lies in honest toil.
After an existence of nearly twenty years of almost innocuous desuetude these laws are brought forth.
He mocks the people who proposes that the government shall protect the rich and that they in turn will care for the laboring poor.
Honor lies in honest toil.
I have considered the pension list of the republic a roll of honor.
It is a condition which confronts us – not a theory.
Minds do not act together in public; they simply stick together; and when their private activities are resumed, they fly apart again.
No man has ever yet been hanged for breaking the spirit of a law.
Officeholders are the agents of the people, not their masters.
Party honesty is party expediency.
Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative positions to be assumed by man and woman in the working out of our civilization were assigned
long ago by a higher intelligence than ours.
The ship of Democracy, which has weathered all storms, may sink through the mutiny of those aboard.
Notable Birthdays For March 18
Those born on this date include:
- John C. Calhoun, the first U.S. vice president to resign that office, in 1782
- Grover Cleveland, 22nd and 24th president of the United States, in 1837
- Russian composer Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov in 1844
- German engineer Rudolf Diesel, inventor of the engine that bears his name, in 1858
- British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain in 1869
- Clairvoyant and therapist Edgar Cayce in 1877
- Actor Edward Everett Horton in 1886
- Auto race promoter Andy Granatelli in 1923 (age 87)
- Actor Peter Graves in 1926 (age 84)
- Author George Plimpton in 1927
- Author John Updike in 1932
- Former South African President F.W. de Klerk in 1936 (age 74)
- Country singer Charley Pride in 1938 (age 72)
- Singer/songwriter Wilson Pickett in 1941
- Singer Irene Cara in 1959 (age 51)
- Actress/singer Vanessa Williams in 1963 (age 47)
- Olympic skater Bonnie Blair in 1964 (age 46)
- Rapper/actress Queen Latifah in 1970 (age 40)
This Day In History: March 18
In 1766, the British government repealed the Stamp Act.
In 1922, Mahatma Gandhi was sentenced to six years in prison for civil disobedience against the British rulers of India.
In 1926, the worst tornado in U.S. history roared through eastern Missouri, southern Illinois, and southern Indiana, killing 695 people, injuring some
13,000 others and causing $17 million in property damage.
In 1931, the first electric razor was marketed by Schick, Inc.
In 1937, a natural gas explosion at a public school in New London, Texas, killed 410 people, most of them children.
In 1962, France and Algeria signed a cease-fire agreement ending a seven-year civil war and bringing independence to the North African country.
In 1965, Soviet cosmonaut Alexi Leonov became the first person to walk in space.
In 1989, the shuttle Discovery completed a five-day space mission, landing at Edwards Air Force Base in California.
In 1992, hotel queen and convicted tax cheat Leona Helmsley was sentenced to four years in prison.
In 1993, Contra rebels freed five hostages they held at the Nicaraguan Embassy in Costa Rica after the two sides agreed to begin talks to end the 10-day
siege.
In 1995, Michael Jordan announced he was returning to professional basketball and the Chicago Bulls after a 17-month break, during which he had tried a
baseball career.
In 1997, Zaire’s parliament fired Premier Leon Kengo wa Dondo and opened negotiations with rebel leader Laurent Kabila.
In 2000, opposition candidate Chen Shui-bian was elected president of Taiwan, ending more than 50 years of Nationalist Party rule.
In 2003, on the eve of war with Iraq, the U.S. State Department listed 30 countries as members of a “coalition of the willing” supporting military intervention
but only the United States, Britain and Australia were known to be providing troops.
In 2004, a top U.S. scientist told lawmakers that all bovines slated for consumption should be tested for mad cow disease which he called “the greatest
threat to the safety of the human food supply in modern times.”
In 2005, doctors removed the feeding tube keeping Terri Schiavo alive after a wide-ranging fight over the brain-damaged Florida woman’s care that involved
U.S. President Bush and Congress.
Also in 2005, news reports said Ukraine admitted to exporting missiles, designed to carry nuclear warheads, to Iran and China.
In 2006, an estimated 500,000 people took to the streets in French cities and towns for the largest protest so far against a new labor law. It allows employers
to dismiss workers under the age of 26 for any reason during the first two years on the job.
In 2007, the U.S military placed the American combat death toll in the Iraq war at 3,211.
Also in 2007, Israel’s Cabinet voted unanimously to boycott the new Hamas-dominated Palestinian unity government.
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Recent
- Notable Birtdays For March 19
- This Day In History: March 19
- The Best of Late Night
- Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Puzzling
- Do You Qualify To Be A Professional?
- Doctor’s Office
- Classic Quotes by Grover Cleveland
- Notable Birthdays For March 18
- This Day In History: March 18
- Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Jenny Craig For Men
- More Extra Jokes
- Classic Quotes by Gloria Swanson
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