Archive | September, 2010

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Food

24 Sep

I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and
Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock
the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t
Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants
for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Identity Crisis

23 Sep

An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs, and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink, she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real
cowboy?” To which he replied, “Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences. I guess I am.”

After a short while, he asked her what she was. She replied, “I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning
I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women.”

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied,
“I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Tour Bus Driver

22 Sep

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her “Why don’t you eat the peanuts?”

“We can’t chew them because we have no teeth”, she replied.

“We just love the chocolate around them.”

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Dangerous Discipline

21 Sep

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their
town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher
agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice,
sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice
even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “WHERE is GOD?!”

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the
closet, he asked,”What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time!”

“GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!”

Classic Quotes by Upton Sinclair

20 Sep

Classic Quotes by Upton Sinclair

1878-1968)

US writer

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

The private control of credit is the modern form of slavery.

Fascism is capitalism plus murder.

I just put on what the lady says. I’ve been married three times, so I’ve had lots of supervision.

In the twilight, it was a vision of power.
 

Notable Birthdays For September 20

20 Sep

Those born on this date are under the sign of Virgo. They include:

  • Novelist Upton Sinclair in 1878
  • Australian nurse Sister Elizabeth Kenny, who pioneered the care of polio victims, in 1880
  • Musician Jelly Roll Morton in 1885
  • Basketball Hall of Fame Coach Arnold Jacob “Red” Auerbach and actor Fernando Rey,
    both in 1917
  • Fashion designer James Galanos in 1924 (age 86)
  • Actress Anne Meara in 1929 (age 81)
  • Actress Sophia Loren in 1934 (age 76)
  • Hocket Hall of Fame
    member Guy Lafleur in 1951 (age 59)
  • Actor Gary Cole in 1956 (age 54)
  • Actress Kristen Johnston in 1967 (age 43)
  • Musicians Gunnar and Matthew Nelson in
    1967 (age 43)

This Day In History: September 20

20 Sep

In 1519, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan began a voyage to find a western passage to the East Indies.

In 1873, financial chaos forced the New York Stock Exchange to close. It remained closed for 10 days.

In 1946, the first Cannes Film Festival opened on the French Riviera. An earlier attempt to begin the international movie showcase in 1939 was halted by
the outbreak of World War II.

In 1966, Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II launched the Cunard liner bearing her name, often shortened to QEII, which eventually became the only ocean liner
on the once thriving trans-Atlantic route.

In 1984, Muslim militants bombed the U.S. Embassy annex in Lebanon, killing 23 people, including two Americans. It was the third terrorist attack on U.S.
installations in Beirut in 17 months.

In 1991, the Cambodian government and three rebel factions agreed on a form of future U.N.-supervised elections.

In 2000, the 6-year Whitewater investigation of U.S. President Bill Clinton and first lady Hillary Clinton ended without any indictments being issued. Independent
Counsel Robert Ray said there was insufficient evidence to establish criminal wrongdoing.

In 2001, Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge was named to lead the new Department of Homeland Security.

In 2002, Israeli forces demolished all but one building of the office compound of Palestinian chief Yasser Arafat after a suicide bomber killed seven people
aboard a Tel Aviv bus.

In 2003, armies of technicians in the mid-Atlantic states worked to restore power to 2.5 million customers still in the dark from Hurricane Isabel. The
storm left at least 25 dead in seven states.

In 2004, CBS News said it regretted broadcasting a controversial report about U.S. President George W. Bush’s military service duty, saying its source misled
the network.

In 2005, the Bush administration’s disapproval rating reached a reported all-time high of 58 percent in a USA Today/CNN/Gallup Poll.

In 2006, Venezuela President Hugo Chavez called U.S. President George W. Bush “the devil” in a U.N. speech and accused the United States of trying to dominate
the world.

Also in 2006, a poll indicated that U.S. voters had an “overwhelmingly negative” opinion of the Republican-led U.S. Congress.

In 2007, Norman Hsu, a major Democratic fundraiser for U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, was charged with defrauding investors of $60 million.
Clinton said funds donated on her behalf would be returned.

Also in 2007, the U.S. dollar dropped to record lows against the euro in a week of trading, beginning on this date.

In 2008, the White House formally announced a vast bailout plan for U.S. financial institutions including full authority for the Treasury Department to
buy up to $700 billion in so-called toxic mortgage-related assets to restore confidence among investors and banks reluctant to make loans.

Also in 2008, more than 50 people were killed and hundreds injured when a truck bomb exploded outside the popular Marriot Hotel in Islamabad, Pakistan.

In 2009, with no timetable for withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan, officials said the United States was in the midst of a massive buildup of CIA
and other intelligence resources in that country similar to operations in Iraq and Vietnam.

Also in 2009, a bear that apparently wandered into Japanese town from the mountains mauled nine people when trapped in a bus station before hunters could
kill it.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Forgetful

20 Sep

William’s wife started noticing how forgetful he was becoming. Being the concerned wife, she convinced him to see a doctor. William was a little worried
when the doctor came in. Sensing his patient’s nervousness, the first thing the doctor did was to ask what was troubling him.

“Well,” William answered. “I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where
I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there, if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?”

The doctor thought for a moment, then answered in his kindest tone, “Please pay me in advance.”

Classic Quotes by William Golding

19 Sep

Classic Quotes by William Golding

1911-1993

English writer

An orotundity, which I define as Nobelitis a pomposity in which one is treated as representative of more than oneself by someone conscious of representing
more than himself.

Childhood is a disease – a sickness that you grow out of.

He who rides the sea of the Nile must have sails woven of patience.

Language fits over experience like a straight-jacket.

My yesterdays walk with me. They keep step, they are gray faces that peer over my shoulder.

Novelists do not write as birds sing, by the push of nature. It is part of the job that there should be much routine and some daily stuff on the level
of carpentry.

Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind.

The journey of life is like a man riding a bicycle. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get
off. We know that if he stops moving and does not get off he will fall off.
 

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