Archive | June, 2010

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: New Shower

29 Jun

In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom-supply store.

We discussed our needs with a young saleswoman. Since it was near closing time, we had to curtail our discussion and made plans to come back the next day
to make our final decision.

Later that evening, my wife and I were at a restaurant, where the same young lady from the bathroom-supply store was now working a shift as a waitress.

As she passed our table, she suddenly recognized us and called to me in a loud voice, “HEY! You’re the man who needs a shower!”

Fireproof Bolivia, Mission Figgs, and Cleaning Ketchup

28 Jun

How likely is Bolivia to catch fire?

At 12,000 feet above sea level, there is barely enough oxygen in La Paz, Bolivia to support combustion. The city is nearly fireproof.

How did the Black Mission fig get its name?

The Black Mission fig, the most popular variety of fig growing in desert areas, is so named because of its color and because it was the variety introduced
at the California and Southwestern Spanish missions.

Can ketchup clean your pots?

To clean tarnished copper bottoms of pots and pans, spread a little ketchup onto the bottom. Let it sit for about one minute. Wipe it clean and rinse.

How many countries have a McDonalds?

There are more than 25,000 McDonald’s restaurants in over 115 countries. McDonald’s has actually been remarkably responsive to the local cultures: they offer
“ayran” (a popular chilled yogurt drink) in Turkey; McLaks (a grilled salmon sandwich) in Norway, and teriyaki burgers in Japan. In New Delhi, India, where
Hindus shun beef and Muslims refuse pork, the burgers are made of mutton and called Maharaja Macs. And if you’re vegetarian, as many strict Hindus are,
there’s the McAloo Tikki burger, a spicy vegetarian patty made of potatoes and peas.

How tough is an armadillo’s armor?

The armor of the armadillo is not as tough as it appears. It is very pliable, much like a human fingernail.

Classic Quotes By Gilda Radner

28 Jun

Classic Quotes by Gilda Radner

1946-1989

U.S. comic actor

Comedy is very controlling – you are making people laugh. It is there in the phrase ‘making people laugh.’ You feel completely in control when you hear
a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

I base my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.
  

Notable Birthdays For June 28

28 Jun

Those born on this date include:

  • English King Henry VIII in 1491
  • Flemish painter Peter Paul Rubens in 1577
  • English clergyman John Wesley, founder of Methodism, in 1703
  • French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau in 1712
  • French physician Paul Broca in 1824
  • Italian author Luigi Pirandello in 1867
  • Composer Richard Rodgers in 1902
  • Spy novelist Eric Ambler in 1909
  • Filmmaker and comedian Mel Brooks in 1926 (age 84)
  • Actor Pat Morita in 1932
  • CIA Director Leon Panetta in 1938 (age 72)
  • Comedian Gilda Radner in 1946
  • Actor Kathy Bates in 1948 (age 62)
  • Actor Alice Krige in 1954 (age 56)
  • Football Hall of fame member John Elway in 1960 (age 50)
  • Actor John Cusack in 1966 (age 44)
  • Actor Mary Stuart Masterson in 1966 (age 44)
  • Actress/singer Danielle Brisebois in 1969 (age 41)

This Day In History: June 28

28 Jun

In 1778, the Continental Army under command of Gen. George Washington defeated the British at Monmouth, N.J.

In 1838, Victoria was crowned queen of England. She would rule for 63 years, 7 months.

In 1914, Archduke Ferdinand of the Austro-Hungarian Empire was assassinated in Sarajevo, Bosnia, an act credited with igniting World War I.

In 1919, World War I officially ended with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles.

In 1969, the clientele of a New York City gay bar, the Stonewall Inn, rioted after the club was raided by police. The event is considered the start of
the gay liberation movement.

In 1971, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the use of public funds for parochial schools was unconstitutional.

In 1972, U.S. President Richard Nixon announced that no more draftees would be sent to Vietnam unless they volunteered for service in the Asian nation.

In 1984, Israel and Syria exchanged prisoners for the first time in 10 years; 291 Syrian soldiers were traded for three Israelis.

In 1991, the Yugoslav army was deployed to Slovenia to take control of airports and border posts and to prevent the republic’s declared independence.

In 1997, Mike Tyson bit the ears of heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield, tearing off a piece of one ear, during a title fight in Las Vegas.

In 2000, Elian Gonzalez and his father returned to Cuba, hours after the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear an appeal from the Cuban refugee’s Miami relatives
who sought to keep the boy in the United States.

Also in 2000, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the Boy Scouts of America had a constitutional right to exclude gay members.

In 2003, people eager to block telemarketing calls overwhelmed a government Web site that began accepting phone numbers at the national do-not-call registry.
The Federal Trade Commission said 735,000 numbers were registered the first day.

In 2004, the U.S.-led coalition formally transferred political power in Iraq to an interim government that would run the country until elections were held.

In 2005, at least 30 people were killed in torrential rains that pounded El Salvador causing flooding and damage to homes.

In 2008, the National Rifle Association, after a legal victory in the U.S. Supreme Court, sued the city of Chicago in an effort to repeal its handgun ban.
The high court opened the door to similar challenges by overturning the District of Columbia’s ban and ruling it legal in most cases to carry guns for
self defense.

Also on 2008, the Presbyterian Church voted to amend its constitution to allow openly gay and lesbian clergy.

In 2009, Honduran President Manuel Zelaya, rousted out of bed in the middle of the night by soldiers, was forced from office and into exile in Costa Rica
in the culmination of a bitter power struggle over proposed constitutional changes, including an extension of term limits.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Going On The Wagon

28 Jun

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife that I had a drinking problem, and to empty the contents of each and every bottle
down the sink, or else. I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine,
and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I’m not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I’m not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and
the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

Classic Quotes By Helen Keller

27 Jun

Classic Quotes by Helen Keller

1880-1968

U.S. writer

A child must feel the flush of victory and the heart-sinking of disappointment before he takes with a will to the tasks distasteful to him and resolves
to dance his way through a dull routine of textbooks.

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.

Although the world is full of suffering,it is also full of the overcoming of it.

As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision.

—————
As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.

Be not dumb, obedient slaves in an army of destruction! Be heroes in an army of construction!

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success
achieved.

College isn’t the place to go for ideas.

Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.

  

Quotes That Make You Think

27 Jun

Quotes That Make You Think

For love of country they accepted death…
- James A. Garfield

The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Peace to each manly soul that sleepeth;
Rest to each faithful eye that weepeth…
- Thomas Moore

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.
- Joseph Campbell

Four things support the world: the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the good, and the valor of the brave.
- Muhammad

Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.
- Billy Graham

The purpose of all war is peace.
- Saint Augustine

Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses of peace must be constructed.
- UNESCO Constitution

(The Civil War) created in this country what had never existed before a national consciousness. It was not the salvation of the Union; it was the rebirth
of the Union.
- Woodrow Wilson

Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back.
- Publilius Syrus

Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.
- G. K. Chesterton

It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.
- Norman Schwarzkopf

Heroism is not only in the man, but in the occasion.
- Calvin Coolidge

Notable Birthdays For June 27

27 Jun

Those born on this date include:

  • Irish patriot Charles Stewart Parnell in 1846
  • Noted anarchist Emma Goldman in 1869
  • Poet Paul Laurence Dunbar 1872
  • Blind and deaf author Helen Keller in 1880
  • Billiards champion Willie Mosconi in 1913
  • Captain Kangaroo Bob Keeshan in 1927
  • H. Ross Perot in 1930 (age 80)
  • Musician and songwriter Bruce Johnston in 1942 (age 68)
  • Fashion designes Norma Kamali in 1945 (age 65)
  • Fashion designes Vera Wang in 1949 (age 61)
  • Actor Julia Duffy in 1951 (age 59)
  • Actor Isabelle Adjani in 1955 (age 55)
  • Actor Christian Kane in 1974 (age 36)
  • Actor Tobey Maguire in 1975 (age 35)
  • Film and television writer/director/producer J.J. Abrams in 1966 (age 44)
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