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Classic Quotes by William Jennings Bryan

19 Mar

Classic Quotes by William Jennings Bryan

1860-1925

American Political Leader

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed.

I hope the two wings of the Democratic Party may flap together.

If that vital spark that we find in a grain of wheat can pass unchanged through countless deaths and resurrections, will the spirit of man be unable to
pass from this body to another?

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

This is not a contest between persons. The humblest citizen in all the land, when clad in the armor of a righteous cause, is stronger than all the hosts
of error. I come to you in defense of a cause as holy as the cause of liberty – the cause of humanity.
  

Notable Birtdays For March 19

19 Mar

Those born on this date include:
- Plymouth Colony Gov. William Bradford in 1590
- Scottish explorer of Africa David Livingstone in 1813
- Marshal Wyatt Earp in 1848
- Jurist William Jennings Bryan in 1860
- Chief U.S. Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren in 1891
- Watergate Judge John Sirica in 1904
- Actor Patrick McGoohan in 1928
- Author Philip Roth in 1933 (age 77)
- Actress Ursula Andress in 1936 (age 74)
- Actress Glenn Close in 1947 (age 63)
- Actor Bruce Willis in 1955 (age 55)

This Day In History: March 19

19 Mar

In 721 B.C., the Roman historian Ptolemy said Babylonian astronomers noted history’s first recorded eclipse: an eclipse of the moon.

In 1915, Pluto was photographed for the first time, but not recognized as a planet.

In 1916, the first U.S. air combat mission in history saw eight Curtiss “Jenny” planes of the First Aero Squadron take off from Columbus, N.M., to aid
troops that had invaded Mexico in pursuit of the bandit Pancho Villa.

In 1918, the U.S. Congress passed the Standard Time Act, which authorized the Interstate Commerce Commission to establish standard time zones in the United
States.

In 1920, the Treaty of Versailles, establishing the League of Nations, was rejected by the U.S. Senate.

In 1931, in an effort to ease the hard times of the Great Depression, the Nevada Legislature voted to legalize gambling.

In 1942, with World War II under way, all men in the United States between the ages of 45 and 64, about 13 million, were ordered to register with the draft
boards for non-military duty.

In 1953, legendary filmmaker Cecil B. DeMille won the only Academy Award of his career when “The Greatest Show on Earth,” a big-budget extravaganza about
circus life, was acclaimed the Best Picture of the year.

In 1987, South Carolina televangelist Jim Bakker resigned as head of the PTL Club, saying he was blackmailed after a sexual encounter with former church
secretary Jessica Hahn.

In 1991, Khaleda Zia became the first woman prime minister of Bangladesh.

In 2002, Israel completed its army’s pullout of the West Bank by leaving Bethlehem one day after Israeli Prime Minister Arial Sharon met with U.S. Vice
President Dick Cheney. The following day a suicide bomber killed seven Israelis on a bus.

In 2003, the U.S.-led military offensive invaded Iraq with a nighttime assault on Baghdad.

Also in 2003, the U.S. Senate rejected a proposal supported by the Bush administration to allow drilling for oil in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge.

In 2004, on the first anniversary of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, officials said 571 U.S. military personnel had been killed.

In 2005, Pakistan was reported to have successfully tested a nuclear-capable missile with a range of 1,250 miles.

In 2006, the disputed presidential election in Belarus sparked street protests throughout the country while international observers alleged fraud. Incumbent
Alexander Lukashenko, who claimed 82.6 percent of the vote, was accused of rigging the election.

In 2007, U.S. President George Bush, in a speech marking the fourth anniversary of the Iraq war, said he saw some gains through the recent troop surge
but it would take months to show substantial progress.

Also in 2007, a detainee at Guantanamo Bay allegedly admitted helping plan the bombings of the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, and the USS Cole in Yemen.

In 2008, for the sixth time in six months, the U.S. Federal Reserve cut short term interest rates, this time to 2.25 percent, in an effort to stabilize
financial markets.

Also in 2008, U.S. President George Bush marked the five-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq by calling it a fight the United States “can and must
win.” He said removing Saddam Hussein from power “was the right decision.”

The Best of Late Night

19 Mar

“Toyota is starting to fight back. Today, they cast doubt on the story of that guy remember the guy last week that said his Prius accelerated out of control
on the freeway? They said they found significant inconsistencies in his story. And let me tell you something, that’s embarrassing when a car dealer calls
you a liar.” Jay Leno

“In an interview in GQ magazine, John Edwards’s mistress said she slept with him on the first day they met, but she wasn’t his mistress, she was just playing
the role. And, apparently, the audition went so well, she got the job!” Jay Leno

“Sarah Palin, out in Arizona, is campaigning with John McCain. He’s running for Senate re-election. They’re campaigning together out there. I thought,
yeah, I mean, there’s an unbeatable combination.” David Letterman

“You guys see the ‘GQ’ pictures of John Edwards’ mistress, Rielle Hunter? Today, she called them ‘repulsive’, and says she trusted ‘GQ”s photographer
to take classy photos. Yeah, because anytime I’m on a bed in nothing but dress shirt and underwear next to a Dora the Explorer doll, I think, ‘This is
gonna look classy.’” Jimmy Fallon

“C-SPAN is uploading 23 years of video on the Internet. Or if you want to get the sensation of watching 23 years of C-SPAN, just watch 2 minutes of C-SPAN.”
Jimmy Fallon

“It seems The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson’s disease. So what are they telling
us? Follow me guys. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson’s
disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. You know, screw health care. Let’s party!” Jay Leno

“Hey, learning more and more about that homegrown terrorist, that woman, Colleen LaRose, also known as Jihad Jane. They’re calling her the most dangerous
person to come out of Pennsylvania since Ben Roethlisberger.” Jay Leno

“President Obama talked about health care reform at a senior center in Strongsville, Ohio, today. The most common question he got: ‘When’s bingo?’” Jimmy
Fallon

“Everybody changed their clocks this weekend for daylight savings. So you move it ahead. And even the Taliban move their clocks ahead. They moved it up
to the 11th century. So that’s good.” David Letterman

“This week was dominated by Congressman Eric Massa, the amazing groping, tickling, snorkeling congressman. America was shocked to learn there is another
closeted gay congressman and he’s not a Republican.” Bill Maher

“He went on Glenn Beck and told about his 50th birthday party, with all men, and they got into a big tickle fight. You know, like guys do. Don’t you hate
that, when you’re in a big, giggling pig-pile of dudes and people try to make it into something gay?” Bill Maher

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Puzzling

19 Mar

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able
to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and
then…” He sighed…

“Let’s put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box…”

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