The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether
you are qualified to be a professional.

1.  How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is:  Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.

2.  How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer:  Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door.  This tests your ability to think through
the repercussions of your previous actions.

3.  The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend… except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer:  The Elephant.     The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there.  This tests your memory.  Okay, even if you
did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one
more chance to show your true abilities.

4.  There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer:  You jump into the river and swim across.

Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal
Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to a Worldwide Consulting Company, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers
got several correct answers. The Consulting Company says this conclusively
disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a
four-year-old.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program..

The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous,
athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign
around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, ‘If you can catch me, you can have me.’
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing,
he finally gives up..

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but
Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ‘If you catch me you
can have me’.

Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he
does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens
with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he
has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company
to order the 7-day/50 pound program

‘Are you sure?’ asks the representative on the phone… ‘This is our most rigorous program.’

‘Absolutely,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t felt this good in years.’

The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular
guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck
that reads, ‘If I catch you, you’re mine.’

He lost 63 pounds that week.