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Murphy’s Ten Laws of Computers

8 Mar

Murphy’s 10 Laws of Computers

10. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

9. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

8. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

7. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

6. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

5. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

4. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

3. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.

2. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked perfectly.

and Murphy’s Number One Law of Computing. . . . .

1. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

Classic Quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes

8 Mar

Classic Quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes

1841-1935

American Jurist

A goose flies by a chart which the Royal Geographical Society could not mend.

A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.

A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience.

A new untruth is better than an old truth.

A person is always startled when he hears himself called old for the first time.

A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts
and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.

A thought is often original, though you have uttered it a hundred times.

A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances
and time in which it is used.

Apology is only egotism wrong side out.

As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.

  

Notable Birthdays For March 8

8 Mar

Those born on this date include:
- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. in 1841
- Scottish children’s writer Kenneth Grahame, author of The Wind in the Willows, in 1859
- American printer and type designer Frederic William Goudy in 1865
- German nuclear chemist Otto Hahn, discoverer of nuclear fission, in 1879
- Actress/dancer Cyd Charisse in 1921
- Actor Sam Jaffe in 1891
- Actress Louise Beavers in 1902
- Actress Claire Trevor in 1910
- Actor Alan Hale, Jr. in 1921
- Actress Susan Clark in 1940 (age 70)
- Actress Lynn Redgrave in 1943 (age 67)
- Former Monkee Micky Dolenz in 1945 (age 65)
- Songwriter Carole Bayer Sager in 1947 (age 63)
- Baseball Hall of Fame member Jim Rice, 1953 (age 57)
- Actor Aidan Quinn in 1959 (age 51)
- Actress Camryn Manheim in 1961 (age 49)
- Actor Freddie Prinze Jr. in 1976 (age 34)
- Actor James Van Der Beek in 1977 (age 33)

This Day In History: March 8

8 Mar

In 1817, the New York Stock Exchange was established.

In 1913, the Internal Revenue Service began to levy and collect income taxes in the United States.

In 1917, strikes and riots in St. Petersburg marked the start of the Russian Bolshevik revolution.

In 1921, after Germany failed to make its first war reparation payment, French troops occupied Dusseldorf and other towns on the Ruhr River in Germany’s
industrial heartland.

In 1957, Egypt reopened the Suez Canal to international traffic after Israel withdrew from occupied Egyptian territory.

In 1965, nearly 4,000 U.S. Marines landed in South Vietnam.

In 1983, U.S. President Ronald Reagan referred to the Soviet Union an “evil empire” in a speech before the British House of Commons.

In 1990, Colombia’s M-19 leftist guerrilla group surrendered its arms, ending 16 years of insurrection.

In 1992, Menachem Begin, the stern, hunted Israeli underground leader who went on to win the Nobel Prize as prime minister for making peace with Egypt,
died of heart failure.

In 1998, James McDougal, a former business partner of then-Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton, died in prison. He had been convicted in connection with the Whitewater
land scandal.

In 1999, the U.S. Energy Department fired a Chinese-born computer scientist from the Los Alamos, N.M., National Laboratory in the theft of U.S. nuclear
secrets.

Also in 1999, baseball great Joe DiMaggio died at age 84.

In 2002, as charges of child abuse by Roman Catholic clergy emerged across the United States and dozens of priests resigned or were suspended, the bishop
of Palm Beach, Fla., stepped down after admitting he had abused a teenage seminary student in the 1970s. His predecessor had resigned in 1999 admitting
he had molested five boys.

In 2003, Israeli helicopters fired missiles at a car in the Gaza Strip, killing a top Hamas leader and three bodyguards.

In 2004, writer and actor Spalding Gray, missing for almost two months, was found in New York’s East River, a suspected suicide.

Also in 2004, as revenge killings continued in Haiti, Boniface Alexandre, the Supreme Court chief justice, was named interim president.

In 2005, thousands of Lebanese protested the pullout of Syrian forces.

In 2006, an official of the World Health Organization expressed strong concern that bird flu spreading to humans could cause a massive pandemic.

Also in 2006, three Alabama college students reportedly looking for cheap thrills were arrested on charges they set fire to nine rural Baptist churches.

In 2007, eight children and an adult died in a four-story house fire near Yankee Stadium in New York.

Also in 2007, the British House of Commons approved a measure requiring the House of Lords to be elected by the people rather than appointed.

In 2008, U.S. President George W. Bush vetoed legislation that would have outlawed severe interrogation methods such as waterboarding used by the CIA.
Bush said the proposal would eliminate “one of the most valuable tools in the war on terror.”

In 2009, U.S. President Barack Obama said the United States may try reconciliation with Taliban moderates in an effort to turn around the Afghan war.

Also in 2009, a man on a motorcycle drove into a crowd of Baghdad police recruits and detonated an explosive vest, killing 28 people and wounding almost
60 others.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Government Workers

8 Mar

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he
paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his
cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The
other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was
digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind  filling in the old.
The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on
down the road.

“I can’t stand this,” said the man tossing the can into a trash
container and heading down the road toward the men.

“Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on
here with this digging?”

“Well, we work for the government,” one of the men said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You’re not
accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the taxpayers’ money?”

“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his
shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there are three of us–me, Rodney,
and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike, here, puts
the dirt back. Now just because Rodney’s sick, that don’t mean that Mike
and me can’t work.”
 

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