Archive | March, 2010

Crazy Laws

31 Mar

Most of these are certainly outdated. But it’s funny to think they ever were laws.

In Michigan, a woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

In New York, it is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle in Connecticut, it must bounce.

To keep any of the incarcerated beasts from picking up bad habits, the town of Manville, NJ decreed that it is illegal to feed whiskey or offer cigarettes
to animals at the local zoo.

If you sell hollow logs in Tennessee, you are breaking the law.

Compulsive gamblers stay out of Richmond, VA: it is even illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee.

Don’t bother the butterflies in Pacific Grove, CA unless you have an extra $500 for the offense.

The same is true for bullfrogs and cottontails in Hayden, AZ. where disturbing them in the city limits is against the law.

Have it your way, but don’t share it in OK. This state forbids a person from taking a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

Need a radio on Sunday? In Spokane, WA, you can buy one on the Sabbath, but forget about purchasing a television!

In the state of New York, you need a license to use a clothesline outdoors.

If any retirees from the circus are thinking about settling down and farming in NC, they are forwarned right here and now that it is against the law in
this state to use elephants to plow cotton fields!

It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.

In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.

In the England it is illegal to sell most goods on a Sunday, (this law is mostly ignored), it is however legal to sell a carrot. It is also legal to sell
it at any price and to give free gifts with it, such as anything else one might want to buy on a Sunday!

Classic Quotes By Rene Descartes

31 Mar

Classic Quotes by Rene Descartes

1596-1650

French philosopher, mathematician, and scientist

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?

At the time, my grandparents told my mom, “Lordy, what is Shannen doing?” Now I’ve calmed down.

Common sense is the most fairly distributed thing in the world, for each one thinks he is so well-endowed with it that even those who are hardest to satisfy in all other matters are not in the habit of desiring more of it than they already have.

Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it.

Each problem that I solved became a rule, which served afterwards to solve other problems. —————

Everything is self-evident.

Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.

I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake. —————

I think; therefore I am.

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.

Illusory joy is often worth more than genuine sorrow.

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well. —————

Nothing is more fairly distributed than common sense: no one thinks he needs more of it than he already has.

Notable Birthdays For March 31

31 Mar

Those born on this date include:
- French philosopher Rene Descartes in 1596
- Austrian composer Franz Joseph Haydn in 1732
- Poet Edward FitzGerald in 1809
- Boxer Jack Johnson, the first black to hold the heavyweight title, in 1878
- Comedian Henry Morgan in 1915
- Actor/singer Richard Kiley in 1922
- Author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia in 1924
- United Farm Workers President Cesar Chavez in 1927
- Actor William Daniels, also in 1927 (age 83)
- Former National Hockey League star Gordie Howe in 1928 (age 82)
- Fashion designer Liz Claiborne in 1929
- Author John Jakes in 1932 (age 78)
- Trumpeter/bandleader Herb Alpert (The Tijuana Brass) in 1935 (age 75)
- Political commentator Michael Savage in 1942 (age 68)
- Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore Jr. in 1948 (age 62)
- Actress Shirley Jones and in 1934 (age 76)
- Actor Richard Chamberlain in 1934 (age 76)
- Actor Christopher Walken in 1943 (age 67)
- Actor Gabe Kaplan in 1945 (age 65)
- Actress Rhea Perlman in 1948 (age 62)
- Actor Ed Marinaro in 1950 (age 60)
- Actor Ewan McGregor in 1971 (age 39)

This Day In History: March 31

31 Mar

In 1889, the Eiffel Tower was dedicated in Paris in a ceremony presided over by its designer, Gustave Eiffel, during the Universal Exhibition of Arts and
Manufacturers.

In 1906, the Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States, later renamed the National Collegiate Athletic Association, established.

In 1918, daylight saving time went into effect in the United States for the first time.

In 1948, the U.S. Congress passed the Marshall Aid Act, a plan to rehabilitate war-ravaged Europe.

In 1954, the U.S. Air Force Academy was established at Colorado Springs, Colo.

In 1959, the Dalai Lama fled Chinese-occupied Tibet and was granted political asylum in India.

In 1968, U.S. President Lyndon Johnson announced he wouldn’t seek re-election and simultaneously ordered suspension of U.S. bombing of North Vietnam.

In 1971, U.S. Army Lt. William Calley was sentenced to life imprisonment for his part in the deaths of 22 Vietnamese civilians in what was called the My
Lai massacre.

In 1991, the Warsaw Pact formally ended as Soviet commanders surrendered their powers in an agreement between pact members and the Soviet Union.

In 1992, the U.N. Security Council voted to impose air traffic and weapons sanctions against Libya for not surrendering six men wanted by the United States,
Britain and France in the bombings of a U.S. jetliner and a French plane.

In 1994, a state of emergency was declared in the South African Zulu homeland of KwaZulu following deadly fighting ahead of the country’s first universal-suffrage
elections.

In 1998, the U.N. Security Council voted to impose an arms embargo on Yugoslavia after unrest in the Serbian province of Kosovo turned violent.

In 2001, Serbian police and security forces attempted to arrest former President Slobodan Milosevic at his home in Belgrade on charges of corruption while
in office. Supporters forced a stand-off that lasted until the next day when Milosevic surrendered.

In 2003, Iraqi Foreign Minister Naji Sabri called on U.S. and British forces to withdraw immediately from Iraq because Iraqis were determined to “inflict
the final defeat.”

In 2004, the International Court of Justice ruled the United States breached the rights of 51 Mexicans on death row by not telling them they had consular
access.

In 2005, Terri Schiavo, a 41-year-old Florida woman in a persistent vegetative state since 1990, died 14 days after removal of her feeding tube amid a
legal struggle over her fate reaching to the White House and the U.S. Supreme Court.

In 2006, rescue workers searched for victims of a capsized cruise boat during a Persian Gulf party. Fifty-seven people were reported dead and 67 rescued.

In 2007, a U.S. air raid, car bombs and random killings reportedly killed at least 55 people across Iraq.

Also in 2007, Pakistan successfully tested its Hataf-II Abdali ballistic missile, believed capable of carrying a nuclear warhead.

In 2008, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulsen proposed long-term federal reforms aimed at overhauling regulation of the American financial system.

Also in 2008, the head of the U.S. Housing and Urban Development Department, Alphonso Jackson, announced his resignation. He had been under investigation
for alleged favoritism in awarding housing contracts.

And, the Dow Jones industrials closed at 12,262.89, down 7.6 percent since the end of 2007. It was the worst quarterly performance in five years.

In 2009, a year later, the Dow Jones industrial average closed the month at 7,608.92, up 7.7 percent, while the Standard and Poor 500 rose 8.5 percent,
closing at 797.87 and the Nasdaq composite rebounded from six-year low and closed at 1,528.59, a one-month gain of 11 percent.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Irish Prostitute

31 Mar

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her
Father cussed her. “Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write
To us?

Not even a line! Why didn’t ye  call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer
Old Mother thru?”

The girl, crying, replied, “Sniff, sniff….Dad..I became a prostitute.. .”
“Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to
This Catholic family.”

“OK, Dad– as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur Coat,
title Deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a $5 million savings Certificate.
For me little Brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy,the Sparkling new
Mercedes limited Edition convertible that’s parked outside, Plus a
membership to the country club……
…………. ……. (takes a breath)….. …….. And an invitation for
ye All to spend New Year’s Eve  on board my new yacht on the Riviera
and……”

“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” interrupts Dad. (Girl, crying
Again) “Sniff, sniff….a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.”

“Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
PROTESTANT!  Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.
 

Confused

30 Mar

Dear Abby:

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.
My fiancee’s mother is not only very attractive but really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited
me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place, we
reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred… then
she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and
that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.

Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said
that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood
there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly
how to deal with this situation.

I headed straight out the front door……………
There, leaning against my car, was her husband, my father-in-law to be.
He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a
good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and
he congratulated me on passing their little test. Abby, should I tell
my fiancee what her parents did, and that I thought their “little test”
was asinine and insulting to my character?

Or should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the
reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Signed,

Confused

Classic Quotes by Vincent Van Gogh

30 Mar

Classic Quotes by Vincent Van Gogh

1853-1890,/h1>

Tostimpressionist painter, born in the Netherland

A good picture is equivalent to a good deed.

—————
As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed.

Conscience is a man’s compass.

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.

Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.

Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together.

Happiness… it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.

How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be?

I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.

I can’t work without a model. I won’t say I turn my back on nature ruthlessly in order to turn a study into a picture, arranging the colors, enlarging
and simplifying; but in the matter of form I am too afraid of departing from the possible and the true.

I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream.
  

Notable Birthdays For March 30

30 Mar

Those born on this date include:
- Spanish painter Francisco Jose de Goya in 1746
- German chemist Robert Bunsen, inventor of the Bunsen gas burner, in 1811
- English author Anna Sewell ( Black Beauty ) in 1820
- English social reformer Charles Booth in 1840
- Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh in 1853
- Irish dramatist Sean O’Casey in 1880
- Philanthropist Brooke Astor in 1902
- Former CIA Director Richard Helms in 1913
- Singer Frankie Laine in 1913
- TV host Peter Marshall in 1927 (age 83)
- Actor Richard Dysart in 1929 (age 81)
- Actor John Astin in 1930 (age 80)
- Actor Warren Beatty in 1937 (age 73)
- Basketball Hall of Fame member Jerry Lucas in 1940 (age 70)
- Rock musician Graeme Edge in 1941 (age 69)
- British blues/rock guitarist Eric Clapton in 1945 (age 65)
- Actor Robbie Coltrane in 1950 (age 60)
- Actor Paul Reiser in 1957 (age 53)
- Rapper MC Hammer in 1962 (age 48)
- Singer Tracy Chapman in 1964 (age 46)
- Singer Celine Dion in 1968 (age 42)
- Singer Norah Jones in 1979 (age 31)

This Day In History: March 30

30 Mar

In 1842, Dr. Crawford Long became the first physician to use anesthetic (ether) in surgery.

In 1858, U.S. patent granted to Hymen Lipman for a pencil with an attached eraser.

In 1867, U.S. Secretary of State William Seward reached an agreement with Russia for the purchase of Alaska for $7.2 million in gold.

In 1870, the 15th Amendment, granting African-American men the right to vote, was adopted into the U.S. Constitution.

In 1923, the Cunard liner “Laconia” arrived in New York City, the first passenger ship to circumnavigate the world, a cruise of 130 days.

In 1975, the South Vietnamese city of Da Nang fell to North Vietnamese forces.

In 1981, U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot by John Hinckley Jr. outside a Washington hotel. White House press secretary James Brady, a Secret Service
agent and a Washington police officer also were wounded. Hinckley was found not guilty by reason of insanity.

In 1998, Armenian Premier Robert Kocharian was elected president in a runoff election in the former Soviet republic.

In 1999, a jury in Oregon awarded $81 million in damages to the family of a smoker who had died from lung cancer. A state judge reduced the punitive portion
to $32 million.

In 2003, an Iraqi spokesman said that 4,000 volunteers from 23 countries were ready to carry out suicide attacks against the U.S.-led coalition.

In 2005, Vatican officials said Pope John Paul II had a nasal feeding tube inserted after reportedly having trouble swallowing. The next day the 84-year-old
pontiff was given the last rites of the Roman Catholic Church.

In 2006, journalist Jill Carroll, a freelance reporter for The Christian Science Monitor, was freed in Baghdad after being held for 82 days by kidnappers.

In 2007, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said Palestinian refugees wouldn’t be allowed to return to their original homes in what is now Israel, one
of the provisions listed by Arab leaders as necessary to normalize relations.

In 2008, radical Iraqi Shiite cleric Moqtada Sadr ordered his militia to end military action in Basra in exchange for amnesty for his supporters and other
concessions.

Also in 2008, flooding in Tanzania mines killed at least 75 men, government officials said. Many of the victims appeared to have been engulfed by rising
water as they worked.

In 2009, police at Lahore, Pakistan, said at least 10 people died in the eight-hour standoff with gunmen who stormed a police academy. Some reports put
the death toll at 26 with more than 50 injured.

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