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The Salary Theory

25 Feb

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.”

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:

The less you know, the more you make.

Classic Quotes By John Foster Dulles

25 Feb

Classic Quotes by John Foster Dulles

1888-1959

U.S. Secretary of State

A man’s accomplishments in life are the cumulative effect of his attention to detail.

I wouldn’t attach too much importance to these student riots. I remember when I was a student at the Sorbonne in Paris, I used to go out and riot occasionally.

Mankind will never win lasting peace so long as men use their full resources only in tasks of war. While we are yet at peace, let us mobilize the potentialities,
particularly the moral and spiritual potentialities, which we usually reserve for war.

The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art. if you are scared to go to the brink, you are lost.

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.

The United Nations was not set up to be a reformatory. It was assumed that you would be good before you got in and not that being in would make you good.

The world will never have lasting peace so long as men reserve for war the finest human qualities. Peace, no less than war, requires idealism and self-sacrifice
and a righteous and dynamic faith.

There are plenty of problems in the world, many of them interconnected. But there is no problem which compares with this central, universal problem of
saving the human race from extinction.
  

The Four Wives

25 Feb

In ancient times, there was a rich merchant who had four wives. He loved the fourth wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies.
He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best. He also loved his third wife very much. He was very proud of her and always wanted to show
her off to his friends. However, the merchant was always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his second wife. She was a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced
some problems, he always turned to his second wife and she would always help him out and help him through difficult times. Now, the merchant’s first wife
was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the
merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have four
wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How lonely I’ll be!”

Thus, he asked the fourth wife, “I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you
follow me and keep me company?” “No way!” replied the fourth wife and she walked away without another word. Similar responses came from the third and second
wives.

Then a voice called out: “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. Greatly grieved,
the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!”

Actually, we each have four wives in our lives

4. The fourth wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it’ll leave us when we die.

3. Our third wife represents our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

2. The second wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we’re alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to
the grave.

1. The first wife is, in fact, our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure. but in truth our real self.

Notable Birthdays For February 25

25 Feb

Those born on this day include:
- French painter Pierre-Auguste Renoir in 1841
- Italian operatic tenor Enrico Caruso in 1873
- U.S. statesman John Foster Dulles in 1888
- Actor Herbert Zeppo Marx, the sane sibling of the early Marx Brothers movies, in 1901
- Actor Jim Backus in 1913
- Tennis player Bobby Riggs in 1918
- Producer/writer Larry Gelbart in 1928
- Talk show host Sally Jessy Raphael in 1935 (age 75)
- Actor Tom Courtenay in 1937 (age 73)
- Actress Diane Baker in 1938 (age 72)
- Former Beatle George Harrison in 1943
- Director Neil Jordan in 1950 (age 60)
- Actress Tea Leoni in 1966 (age 44)
- Actor Sean Astin in 1971 (age 39)

This Day In History: February 25

25 Feb

In 1791, the First Bank of the U.S. at Philadelphia became the first national bank chartered by Congress.

In 1836, Samuel Colt patented a “revolving gun,” the first of the six-shooters.

In 1870, Hiram Rhoades Revels, a Republican from Natchez, Miss., was sworn into the U.S. Senate, becoming the first African-American to sit in Congress.

In 1901, The United States Steel Corp. was founded by J.P. Morgan.

In 1933, the USS Ranger, the first custom-built aircraft carrier, was launched.

In 1951, Buenos Aires played host to the first Pan American Games.

In 1964, Cassius Clay (Muhammad Ali) defeated Sonny Liston and was named world heavyweight boxing champion.

In 1967, U.S. warships began shelling Vietnam.

In 1986, Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos left his Manila palace for Hawaii, ending 20 years in power. The United States recognized Corazon Aquino
as president of the Philippines.

In 1990, Violeta Chamorro, the U.S.-backed candidate for the presidency of Nicaragua, scored an upset victory over President Daniel Ortega, leader of the
leftist Sandinista Liberation Front.

In 1991, as the Persian Gulf War ground assault continued, Iraq ordered its forces to withdraw from Kuwait.

Also in 1991, the Warsaw Pact nations signed an agreement to dissolve their alliance after 36 years.

In 1994, 32 Muslim worshippers were killed by a Jewish settler who opened fire with an automatic rifle inside the Cave of the Patriarchs in the West Bank
town of Hebron. The settler was overpowered and beaten to death.

In 1996, a bus bombing in Jerusalem killed 25 people.

In 1997, documents revealed U.S. President Bill Clinton endorsed rewarding Democratic contributors with such perks as golf games with him or overnight
stays in the White House.

In 2000, four white New York City police officers were acquitted in the shooting death of unarmed African immigrant Amadou Diallo, slain as he sat in his
doorway.

In 2003, as the possibility of war loomed, the chief U.N. weapons inspector said Iraq was showing new signs of cooperation in dismantling its weapons arsenal.

In 2005, authorities arrested Dennis Rader, a municipal employee and church leader, for the so-called BTK serial killings that terrorized Wichita, Kan.
The attacker referred to himself as “BTK,” for bind, torture, kill.

In 2006, Emmy-winning comic star Don Knotts, best known for his Barney Fife on “The Andy Griffith Show,” died of lung cancer. He was 81.

In 2007, Iran claimed to have fired its first rocket into space. Iran reportedly had relied on Russia to put its satellites into space in the past.

In 2008, Ford Motor Company urged workers to accept buyout offers in a reported effort to pass along jobs to lower wage employees and reduce losses.

In 2009, a Turkish Airliner crashed while trying to land in Amsterdam, killing a reported nine people and injuring another 50.

Also in 2009, a second day of fighting between Islamic militants and Somali government troops backed by African Union peacekeepers shook Mogadishu. At
least 35 civilians have died and about 130 others have been reported injured.

16 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work

25 Feb

Sixteen reasons why alcohol should be served at work:

1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It leads to more honest communications.

3. It reduces complaints about low pay

4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.

5. It encourages car pooling.

6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.

7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

8. It makes fellow employees look better.

9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

12. Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at the bar.

13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

16. Sitting “Bare ass” on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.”

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