Archive | 5:00 pm

Quiz Show Answers

9 Feb

The Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what “J” is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay.

Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Robinson: Wh…? Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and…? Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Lincs FM phone-in

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.

Steve Wright Show, Radio 2

Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?

Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?

Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it’s not Sydney.

Contestant: Sydney.

This Morning

Judy Finnegan: The American TV show ‘The Sopranos’ is about opera. True or false?

Contestant: True?

Finnegan: No, actually, it’s about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I’ll give you that.

BBC Radio Newcastle

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC

Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?

Contestant: Four.

BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show

Wood: What “K” could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er…

Wood: It’s got two syllables… Kor…

Contestant: Blimey?

Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run…

Contestant: (Silence)

Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I…

Contestant: Walked?

Murphy’s Real Laws

9 Feb

Murphy’s Real Laws

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

6.I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

8. Seen it all, done it all. Can’t remember most of it.

9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

10. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

11. He’s not dead. He’s electroencephalographically challenged.

12. She’s always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the “Juneflower.”

13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

16. Pardon my driving, I’m reloading.

17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

20. Just remember if it wasn’t for gravity, we’d all fall off.

21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

23. You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.

25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.

28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

32. Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

33.I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Kids Marriage Advice

9 Feb

Kids Marriage Advice

( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like
sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10 –

( 2 ) No person really decides before they grow up who
they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before,
and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kirsten, age 10 –

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

( 1 ) Twenty-three is the best age because you know
the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10 –

( 2 ) No age is good to get married at. You got to be
a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

( 1 ) Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE

( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should use
them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other
lies and that usually gets them interested enough to
go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10 (wise beyond his years)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE
THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

( 1 ) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would
call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about
me in all the dead columns.
– Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

( 1 ) When they’re rich
– Pam, age 7

( 2 ) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I
wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

( 3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone,
then you should marry them and have kids with them.
It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8 (this one has very good morals!)

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

( 1 ) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you
one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I
don’t want to be all grossed out.
– Theodore, age 8

( 2 ) It’s better for girls to be single but not for
boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT
IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

( 1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain,
wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is……..

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

( 1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty,
even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10

Classic Quotes By William Henry Harrison

9 Feb

Classic Quotes by William Henry Harrison

1773-1841

American President

I believe and I say it is true Democratic feeling, that all the measures of the Government are directed to the purpose of making the rich richer and the
poor poorer.

I contend that the strongest of all governments is that which is most free.

There is nothing more corrupting, nothing more destructive of the noblest and finest feelings of our nature, than the exercise of unlimited power.

The people are the best guardians of their own rights and it is the duty of their executive to abstain from interfering in or thwarting the sacred exercise
of the lawmaking functions of their government.

Sir, I wish to understand the true principles of the Government. I wish them carried out. I ask nothing more.

But I contend that the strongest of all governments is that which is most free.

The plea of necessity, that eternal argument of all conspirators.

There is nothing more corrupting, nothing more destructive of the noblest and finest feelings of our nature, than the exercise of unlimited power.

We admit of no government by divine right….The only legitimate right to govern is an express grant of power from the governed.
  

Notable Birthdays For February 9

9 Feb

Those born on this date include:
- William Henry Harrison, ninth president of the United States, in 1773
- Actor Ronald Colman in 1891
- Former Secretary of State Dean Rusk in 1909
- Exotic dancer Gypsy Rose Lee in 1914
- Country singer Ernest Tubb in 1914
- Baseball entrepreneur Bill Veeck in 1914
- Irish playwright Brendan Behan in 1923
- Actress Kathryn Grayson in 1922 (age 88)
- Television journalist Roger Mudd in 1928 (age 82)
- Evangelist Garner Ted Armstrong in 1930
- Nobel laureate South African author J. M. Coetzee in 1940 (age 70)
- Singer Carole King in 1942 (age 68)
- Author Alice Walker in 1944 (age 66)
- Actor Joe Pesci in 1943 (age 67)
- Actress Mia Farrow in 1945 (age 65)
- Actress Judith Light in 1949 (age 61)
- Actor Charles Shaughnessy in 1955 (age 55)
- Country singer Travis Tritt in 1963 (age 47)

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day

9 Feb

Tech Support: “OK Bob, let’s press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up
the Program Manager.”

Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”

Tech Support: “On your keyboard, Bob.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Tech Support: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”

Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”

This Day In History: February 9

9 Feb

In 1621, Gregory XV becomes Pope, the last Pope elected by acclamation.

In 1775, the American colony of Massachusetts is declared in rebellion by the British Parliament.

In 1825, after no presidential candidate won the necessary majority, the House of Representatives elected John Quincy Adams the sixth president of the
United States.

In 1900, the solid silver trophy known as the Davis Cup was first put up for competition when American collegian Dwight Filley Davis challenged British
tennis players to compete against his Harvard team.

In 1943, in a major World War II strategic victory, the Allies retook Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands from the Japanese.

In 1950, U.S. Sen. Joseph McCarthy, R-Wis., charged the U.S. State Department was infested with communists, touching off the infamous “McCarthy era.”

In 1960, the Hollywood Walk of Fame is instituted with Joanne Woodward honored with the first star.

In 1964, the Beatles appear on television’s “The Ed Sullivan Show.” An estimated 73 million people watched.

In 1971, an earthquake shook Los Angeles and killed 64 people.

Also in 1971, Satchel Paige becomes the first Negro League player voted to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

In 1984, Soviet President Yuri Andropov, in power 15 months, died at age 69.

In 1987, Robert McFarlane, former Reagan administration national security adviser, was hospitalized for an overdose of Valium just hours before he was
to testify to a presidential commission about the Iran-Contra scandal.

In 1990, the U.S. stock of Perrier water was recalled because of levels of benzene in violation of EPA standards. The recall was later extended worldwide.

In 1991, Lithuanians overwhelmingly voted to secede from the Soviet Union in an independence plebiscite ruled illegal by Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev.

In 1992, 30 people were reported killed in Senegal in the crash of a plane chartered by Air Senegal for Club Mediterranean.

In 1994, in Cairo, PLO chief Yasser Arafat and Israeli Foreign Minister Shimon Peres initialed an agreement that resolved some contentious issues in the
Middle East peace talks.

In 1996, a bomb exploded in a London rail station, killing two and wounding 100. The IRA announced that the Northern Ireland cease-fire was over.

In 2001, nine people were killed when the U.S. submarine USS Greenville collided with a Japanese fishing boat off the coast of Hawaii. The accident took
place during a surfacing drill.

In 2003, Egypt said the upcoming Arab League summit wouldn’t ask Iraq’s Saddam Hussein to step down as some Arab nations had urged. The Egyptian foreign
minister said he didn’t think any Arab country would “interfere in Iraq’s internal affairs.”

In 2005, hospitalized Pope John Paul II, recovering from flu-related respiratory problems, missed celebrating mass to begin Lent for the first time in
26 years.

In 2006, U.S. President George Bush said international cooperation had derailed a terrorist plot to fly an airplane into the 73-story Library Tower in
Los Angeles.

In 2007, the Pentagon’s inspector general told a U.S. Senate committee the Defense Department had tailored intelligence findings on Iraq to suit its audience.

In 2008, the three-month Writers’ Guild of America strike that cost the entertainment industry more than $2 billion ended with a three-year deal.

Also in 2008, the U.S. space shuttle Atlantis delivered a $2 billion science lab to the International Space Station, doubling the station’s zero-gravity
research capacity.

In 2009, with the death toll expected to reach 200, Australian officials blamed arsonists for at least a portion of their country’s worst brushfire rampage.

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