Archive | 12:00 am

Revenge!

5 Jan

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls,
forget about it. This is a true story that just happened at a
wedding at Clemson.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the
wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the
microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to
thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support
them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the
bride’s and groom’s families for coming.
To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he
said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the
bottom of everyone’s chair was a manila envelope. He said that
was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it.
Inside the manilla envelope was an 8×10 picture of his best man
having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the
two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.) After
he stood there and watched people’s reactions for a couple of
minutes, he turned to the best man and said Screw You, he turned
to the bride and said Screw You, and then said I’m out of here.
He got the marriage annulled the next day.
While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we
found out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway.
His revenge: making the bride’s parents pay for a 300 guest wedding
and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and
trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of
friends, family, grandparents, etc.

This is his world, we just live in it.

Some of My Favorites

5 Jan

Some Of My Favorites

from Sharon D

1. Don’t ever leave the people you care about without saying I love you. Especially if you are mad.

2. Always remember your family is the most valuable thing you have. Not cars, houses, lamps, etc.

3. Make friends with your neighbors instead of finding fault. If you are nice, chances are they will be too.

4. Visit a nursing home on Christmas day on your way to meet up with family and/or friends.

There are many sad and lonely people that will get hours of joy from just 5 minutes of your time.

5. Instill family traditions in your children. If they learn them when they are young, they will always be carried on.

6. Be responsible parents. Know where your kids are, who they are associated with, and listen with interest to what is going on in their world even if
it is not your cup of tea.

7. Smile at your children often. A smile can be more encouraging and more loving than any words.

Rock With Me

5 Jan

Another message from Rex Barker:

There was once an elderly, sad woman in a nursing home. She wouldn’t talk to anyone or request anything. She seemed merely to exist – rocking in her creaky
old rocking chair.

The old woman didn’t have many visitors. But every few days, a concerned and wise young nurse would go into her room. She didn’t try to speak or ask questions
of the old lady. She simply pulled up another rocking chair beside the old woman and rocked with her.

Weeks or months later, the old woman finally spoke.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Thank you for rocking with me.’

This is Rex Barker, reminding you that in life there are times when we are meant to talk and be supportive, and there are times when we can help by just
showing up. Actions, as we are told are often more important than words. The next time you know someone in need, just be there and be supportive.

Make My Boobies One More Size

5 Jan

Make My Boobies One More Size

Biggie Spears

 Oh booby booby
 Oh booby booby

 Oh booby booby
 My chest was supposed to grow
 My cleavage wasn’t right yeah
 Oh boobies boobies
 My breasts are completely full
 And now my sweater’s tight yeah
 Surgery
 I wanna be a size “d”
 Bigger memories
 I want them to show
 Now oh because

 Chorus:
 My chest flatness was killing me
 And i
 I must confess
 I paid for these
 (paid for these)
 I look 32
 I’m just a child
 I am a crime
 Make my boobies one more size

 Oh baby baby
 I got double D’s it’s true
 Now you’ve all been blinded
 Oh pretty boobies
 Your so big and oh so new
 That’s just the way I planned it

 Golly
 Rolling Stone was naughty
 See me baby
 Barely wearing clothes
 Now oh because

 Chorus:
 My chest flatness was killing me
 And i
 I must confess
 I paid for these
 (paid for these)
 I look 32
 I’m just a child
 I am a crime
 Make my boobies one more size

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Irish Confessional

5 Jan

Irish Confessional

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

There’s a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array
of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been
to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it
used to be.”

The priest replies: “Get out. You’re in my side.”

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