Another New Year

Amy S

Florida

Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the
year. For that reason, it has become common for folks to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties
often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year’s Day would bring either
good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man.

Traditional New Year foods are also thought to bring luck. Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck, because it symbolizes
“coming full circle,” completing a year’s cycle. For that reason, the Dutch believe that eating donuts on New Year’s Day will bring good fortune.

Many parts of the U.S. celebrate the new year by consuming black-eyed peas. These legumes are typically accompanied by either hog jowls or ham. Black-eyed
peas and other legumes have been considered good luck in many cultures. The hog, and thus its meat, is considered lucky because it symbolizes prosperity.
Cabbage is another “good luck” vegetable that is consumed on New Year’s Day by many. Cabbage leaves are also considered a sign of prosperity, being representative
of paper currency. In some regions, rice is a lucky food that is eaten on New Year’s Day.

The song, “Auld Lang Syne,” playing in the background, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring
in the new year. At least partially written by Robert Burns in the 1700′s, it was first published in 1796 after Burns’ death. Early variations of the song
were sung prior to 1700 and inspired Burns to produce the modern rendition. An old Scotch tune, “Auld Lang Syne” literally means “old long ago,” or simply,
“the good old days.”

Maxine’s Perfect Solution For Health Care

      Here  is the solution:

      While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my
sister-in-law the other day, I think we stumbled on the perfect solution for
health care.  I’m sure you’ve heard the idea that if you’re a senior you
need to suck it up and give up the silly notion that you need any health
care. A new hip?  Unheard of. We really can’t afford to take care of you
anymore.  You don’t need any medications for your high blood pressure,
diabetes, heart problems, etc.  Let’s take care of the young people.  After
all, they will be ruling the world very soon.

      So here is the solution.  When you turn 70, you get a gun and 3
bullets.  You are allowed to shoot one senator and 2 representatives. In a
relatively short period of time, you will be sent to prison where you will
get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need!
New teeth, great!  Need glasses, no problem!  New hip, knee, kidney, lung,
heart?  Bring it on.  And who will be paying for all of this?  The same
government that just told you that you are too old for health care.  And,
since you are a prisoner, you won’t be paying any more income tax.
 

A Time For Unity

By

Tiffany Renee Johnson

There’s a time for laughter,
There’s a time for sadness,
But the most important thing of all,
Is that there’s a time for unity.

There’s a time for joy,
There’s a time for sorrow,
But the most important thing of all,
Is that there’s a time for unity.

There’s a time where a group of individuals gather together to cherish every minutte, day, hour, month and last but not least, year that they have to be with each other.
There’s a time for peace,
there’s a time for hope,
but the most important thing of all,
Is that there’s a time for unity.

There’s a time for comfort,
There’s a time to love,
But the most important thing of all,
Is that there’s a time for unity.

There’s a time to hug,
There’s a time to hold someone who’s in need for encouraging words,
But the most important thing of all,
Is that there’s a time for unity. 

Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to
consider this…
Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to
continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep
for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill
for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so
high.
He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly
aren’t worth $350.00! When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard
rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the
hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for the husband and wife to use.
‘But we didn’t use them,’ the man complains.
‘Well, they are here, and you could have,’ Explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for
which the hotel is famous.
‘The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform
here,’ the Manager says.
‘But we didn’t go to any of those shows,’ complains the man again.
‘Well, we have them, and you could have,’ the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, ‘But we
didn’t use it!’
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to
pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
‘But sir,’ he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.’ ‘That’s
correct,’ says the man. ‘I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my
wife.’
‘But I didn’t!’ exclaims the Manager.
‘Well, too bad,’ the man replies. ‘She was here and you could have.’
 

Bravery

Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.
- Franklin P. Jones

Bravery is believing in yourself, and that thing nobody can teach you.
- El Cordobes

You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.
- Mary Tyler Moore

There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
- John Wainwright

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.
- Japanese Proverb

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
- Unknown

Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.
- Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron)

The brave Love mercy, and delight to save.
- John Gay

The brave find a home in every land.
- Ovid

The coward calls the brave man rash, the rash man calls him a coward.
- Aristotle

His resolve is not to seem the bravest, but to be.
- Aeschylus

A brave man is clear in his discourse, and keeps close to truth.
- Aristotle

Tell a man he is brave, and you help him to become so.
- Thomas Carlyle

We come to know best what men are, in their worse jeopardies.
- Samuel Daniel

It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.
- Aesop

And They Walk Among Us?

ONE

you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.

‘You don’t?’ I replied.

‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.

‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’

‘That’s right.’

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly
true…)

TWO:

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine I picked up one of
those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’,
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this costs?’

I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’

She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE:

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM ‘thingy.’
(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR:

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need
some help?’ I asked.

She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to
a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’

‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.

‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to
me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why
don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long
walk….’
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE:

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?’
‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’
copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX:

A mother calls 911, very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room because her kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine.

The mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’

Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency!’
———————————————————-

Life is tough… It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!!!!

What About Tomorrow

Another message from Rex Barker

Tomorrow is a day that seems very far away. We wish for it, cant wait to see it, try to borrow off of it, often wonder what it will bring, frequently putting
off different tasks today, going on the promise that we will see tomorrow when in actuality, we were never promised tomorrow.

Why not live each day as your last?

Some people would view the above quote as a license to party non-stop, like a perpetual Mardis Gras or Carnival in Rio. While fun in doses certainly has
its merit, what it is really referring to is, Did you use your time here to achieve the most you could, to help the most people you could, to show kindness
when needed? Did you use your time for caring for your family and friends, mentoring others, nurturing your children in a healthy way?

This is Rex Barker, reminding you to look at your life and ask yourself, If you were not here tomorrow, would you be proud of what you had done in your
life so far? If the answer is no, then it’s time to make some changes. Start by helping someone — and you will be on the right path.

Red Phone In Hell

George Bush, Queen  Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there,  they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil
tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call  Russia and
talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil  informs him that the
cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes  him a check.

Next Queen  Elizabeth call England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was
finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so  Queen
Elizabeth writes him a check. Finally George Bush gets his  turn and talks
for 4 hours. When he was finished the devil  informed him that there would
be no charge for the call and feel  free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this  he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to
call the USA  free. The devil replied, Since Obama became president of the
USA,  the country has gone to hell, so naturally it’s a local call.

In 2004 Peyton Manning tossed his 49th touchdown of the season, breaking the previous record held by Dan Marino.
In 1978 Spain adopted a new constitution & became a democracy after 40 years of dictatorship.
In 1968 Apollo 8 safely splashed down in the Pacific Ocean, ending the first orbital manned mission to the Moon.
In 1947 the children’s television show Howdy Doody premieres.
In 2001 China was granted permanent normal trade status with the U.S. by Pres George W. Bush.
In 1944 the World Bank was created when 28 nations signed an agreement.
A year ago today Israel launched a 3-week operation on Gaza.
2 years ago today former Pakistani PM Benazir Bhutto was assassinated by a suicide bomber.
In 1932 Radio City Music Hall opened in New York City.