The Best of Late Night

“President Obama is getting ready to pardon the White House turkey, the Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.” Jay Leno

“That evil guy, the evil masterminding terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, he is going on trial here in New York City. I will tell you something, this guy
is nothing but evil. One time he called CNN and told him that his son was floating away in a balloon.” David Letterman

“Khalid is expected to get a tough reception here in New York City because everybody hates him. You know, why not? Here’s a guy you can hate. And on top
of that, he’s a Red Sox fan.” David Letterman

“A lot of people are saying that it’s too soon for Sarah Palin to write a memoir. They say she should wait until she had at least ten more years of inexperience.”
David Letterman

“It was reported Monday that food summit, Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi spent several hours in the company of 200 Italian women and tried to convert them
to Islam. Long story short — he’s a Catholic now.” Seth Meyers

“The ratings just came in for Sarah Palin’s appearance on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show.’ It earned Oprah her highest ratings since the episode where she reunited
the Osmond family. Yeah, viewers who saw both episodes say Palin’s more likable but that Donny and Marie are more qualified to be president.” Conan O’Brien

“Over the weekend, the Senate voted to allow debate on the healthcare bill. Can you believe that? It’s like fighting over whether or not to fight.” Jimmy
Fallon

“In a long-standing Thanksgiving tradition, President Obama is scheduled to pardon the White House turkey this coming Wednesday. ‘Hey, that’s great,’ said
Joe Biden. ‘I didn’t even know I did anything wrong.’” Seth Meyers