Halloween Jokes

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice scream.

Why do witches fly on brooms?
VCUUM cleaner cords aren’t long enough.

When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.

What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.

What do you call a friendly, dead Egyptian?
A chummy mummy.

What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
Lazy bones.

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scary spray.

What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
“Ouch!”

How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horriscope.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No. They eat the fingers separately.

Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don’t have any body to go out with.

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries.

What do zombies like to eat at a cookout?
Halloweenies.

What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving.

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.

What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A boo boo.

What would a monster’s psychiatris be called?
Shrinkenstein.

;What is a baby ghost’s favorite name?
Peekaboo.

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re too wrapped up in themselves.

Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wallstreet Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.

What did the ghost get for halloween?
Some Booo-T.