Archive | 2:03 pm

Ten Things My Mother Amd My Grandmother Taught Me

29 Oct

Ten Things My Mother And My Grandmother Taught Me

By Ronit R.

1. It’s OK if you fall off the horse – at least you got on and tried your best.

2. Life, at times, may seem unfair; those are the days when we learn the most.

3. A love of good books means you will never be lonely.

4. Family gatherings keep us together and should not occur with just funerals and weddings.

5. We are only borrowing these bodies and these moments, treat them with loving care and respect.

6. The older we get, the more important activity is; once you stop moving, you stop living.

7. Don’t let the sunshine find you hiding indoors; a sunny day is an invitation to play.

8. No matter how much we fight as brothers and sisters, family is family and will always be there when you need them.

9. Never leave with an angry word, it might be the last thing you get to say to that person.

10. Last, but definitely not least…The mothers curse works: “Someday I hope you have children who act just like you!”

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Silly Sermons

29 Oct

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars:

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol – Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead?
Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation –

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

“As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”

That pretty much ended the service.

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