Archive | September, 2009

Quotes of the Day

23 Sep

1. Try everything twice. On Madam’s tombstone (of Whelan’s and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: “Tried everything twice…loved it both times!”

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches.)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And
the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him/her.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.

12. Lost time can never be found.

This is Rex Barker reminding you to keep rereading these entertaining, but insightful words above. Read them everyday for a month – and see how your life
changes.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: Do You Know Your State Motto?

23 Sep

Do You Know Your State Motto?

Alabama: Heck Yes, We Have Electricity
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Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
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Arizona: But It’s A Dry Heat
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Arkansas: Literacy Ain’t Everything
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California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
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Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
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Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy’s Don’t Own It Yet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Georgia: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
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Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes … Well Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
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Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
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Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
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Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
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Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
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Louisiana: We’re Not ALL Drunken Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
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Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
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Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)
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Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
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Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes… And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
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Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
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Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
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Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Little Else
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Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
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Nevada: Prostitutes and Poker!
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New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
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New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
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New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
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New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To an Attorney
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North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
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North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
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Ohio: At Least We’re Not Michigan
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Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
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Oregon: Spotted Owl… It’s What’s For Dinner…
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Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
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Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island
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South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
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South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
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Tennessee: The Educashun State
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Texas: Si’ Hablo Ing’les (Yes, I Speak English)
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Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
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Vermont: Yep
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Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slack jaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
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Washington: Help! Nerds And Slackers Overrun Us!
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Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
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West Virginia: One Big Happy Family… Really!
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Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
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Wyoming: Where Men Are Men … and The Sheep Are Scared

Quotes of the Day

22 Sep

By Kevin B
My grandfather taught me that how your day is going is a personal choice, so choose to have a good day. It only took me 40 some years to understand and
adopt that philosophy.

By Albert & Lillian Partenheimer
You become what you think about…Earl Nightingale’s “Strangest Secret,” and “God didn’t build a stairway leading nowhere.”

The mind is like a fertile field. What you plant in it will give you a bountiful harvest,
Plant good, reap more goodness; plant evil, so shall you be; plant nothing and you will be.

By Steve Mutiso from Nairobi, Kenya
I have learned that it is not the size of the dog that matters, but the fight in the dog. Life is about confidence and determination.

By T. Nat
They lied. People do die from hard work…But no one ever died from laughter.

By Theresa Ige from Nigeria
Life has taught me that your background does not mean that your back will be on the ground.

By NICHOLSL30
I have learned that the more you help out your kids when they are in a financial bind, the more they will get in a bind.

By Linda H
If you have not had a failure lately, you are not taking enough risks.

By Dr. Edem Eniang from Nigeria
It is not an easy task to convince a person who lives on one side of a river not to cross over to the other side – especially if you had been on the other
side before.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day: The Penguin

22 Sep

A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood. He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his
car. The man said to come back in half an hour. So while he waited the penguin went across the street to the bar, and ordered a glass of milk. Since penguins
don’t have hands to hold glasses, he spilled some milk on his beak. When he returned to the mechanic, he asked what was wrong with his car. The mechanic
said it looked like he blew a seal. 

Weirdo Ex-Police Chief In Gender-Bender Kiddie Porn Arrest

21 Sep

Weirdo Ex-Police Chief in Gender-Bender Kiddie Porn Arrest

Monday September 21, 2009

Isn’t it odd how often the most trusted people in a community turn out to be the weirdest of all?

Police say former police chief Michael Meissner posed as a woman to get teenage boys to send him nude photos of themselves. The 39-year-old former police
chief of Caney City, Texas, is alleged to have set up a MySpace page, from which he solicited the photos,
according to a report in the Star-Telegram.

I know one place they really appreciate men who dress as women: Prison.

Quotes of the Day

21 Sep

Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it.

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody
that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.

I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back.

Some day I shall be President.

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.

If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.

As our case is new, we must think and act anew.

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.

Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day

21 Sep

“Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework! Why are you watching television?”
“It’s okay, Mom! I haven’t done my homework yet.” 

Ian’s Ghost Story

20 Sep

Ian had an experience with a Ghost near Houston, Texas, U.S.A. in 2009. Here is his story:

I am no stranger to paranormal encounters. I have had many more than I can handle. Anything ranging from strange dreams to real life happenings. Nothing
is a mystery to me anymore.

I was recently blessed with a son from my fiance. And I couldn’t be more happy. At current we live with my parents and sister in their three bedroom home,
just until I’m off to Basic Training in the Navy next year. And for such a small house, there is so much activity going on here.

We all hear the constant footsteps wandering the halls and attic. We all hear those faint voices in the bathroom vent. We even hear the doors open and close
freely. But none of us have been directly approched by these spirits.

On July 6, 2009 my fiance left, with her family, to Nebraska to celebrate her graduation from our terrible school district. It was this night that I was
directly approached by the Ghost.

It was around two a.m. and I was up watching Family Guy on Hulu.com, when, the power suddenly shut off. I sat in complete darkness and I swear my primal
instincts came to life. My ears became sharper and my eyes strained to collect every ounce of light it could. But still I could not see. I stumbled over
to my bedside counter and panned my handes through the mess searching for my keys. Because on my keys was my handy-dandy pocket light.

My hand finally skimmed over the cool steel and I clasped my fingers around it. I pulled it off the counter and began to fumble through the keys until finally
I felt the plastic in my palm. I quickly grabbed the pocket light and pushed in on the bottem. The room filled with a soft blue glow.

I went to the hallway, the light blinking off and on every few moments due to a low battery, and began to turn towards my parents bedroom. I stopped in
that process and stared in to the dark bathroom. I had seen a white, blurry face with blank eyes staring at me, but it was not there. I did not hesitate
further. I continued to my parents bedroom door.

I was hoping to get my dad out here and see if maybe a breaker flipped or something. He was always better at those sort of things. He never did want to
teach me anything, I always asked too many questions.

I reached their door and knocked lightly. Sure enough I heard my dads raspy and tired voice reply with “What!?”

“The power is out, I thought you could come look at the breakers for me.” I answered.

“Yeah, Yeah.” I heard his bed springs creak which meant he was up and about.

It wasn’t long until he was in the hallway and I followed him to the kitchen. He opened the breaker box while I shined the light.

“Well, it aint the breakers,” he finally said after a long pause.

“It’s not?”

“Nope, There all on.”

He walked over to our front door and I sat at in the dark kitchen.

“Well that’s strange.”

“What is?” I asked

“Mr.Brown’s Lights are on.” He replied.

I sat and waved the light around. And sure enough, I saw another face, maybe the same one.

“I’m going back to bed,” he said as he disappeared into the hallway.

I wated to hear his door click shut. When it did, I returned to my room and sat in the bed. I sat there in complete darkness.

Within seconds I heard something ruffle my clothes in the closet, then I heard my hangers crash to the wooden floor. I wanted to shine the light but
hesitated for fear of what I would see. Then a string was plucked on my guitar, which was only inches away from me. Then all my strings were strummed.

My heart pounded and jumped into my throat. I could see myself running for the door and rushing outside. I could see myself shining the light into the
air and finding nothing. But, instead, I sat in silence with fear pinning me down.

Then a man’s voice whispered into my ear, “Con-grad-ulat-ions.” I jumped at the voice, and with that jump the power returned.

I have yet to find that voice.

Ezzy’s Joke of the Day

20 Sep

Why’d the boy eat his homework?

His teacher told him it was a piece of cake! 

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