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Bill Clinton Statue Committee
 
1040 Waffle Street
 
Little Rock, Arkansas 72208
 
Dear Friend;
 
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising
of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame
in Washington, D.C.
 
This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was
not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never
told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since
Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.
 
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest
democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know
where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did it
all on borrowed money.
 
Over 3,000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your
shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised
land.” Nearly 3,000 years later Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels,
sit on your asses and light up a camel – this is the promised land.”
 
Now, Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise
the price of camels and mortgage the promised land. If you are one of the
fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we expect a
very generous contribution to the worthwhile project.
 
Fraternally,
 
 
 
Bill Clinton Statue Committee
 
 
P.S. It is said that BIll Clinton is considering changing the Democratic
Party emblem from a donkey to a condom, because it stands for
inflation, halts productivity, covers up a bunch of pricks, and it
gives a false sense of security.
 
 
 
 
 

A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their
union after a very short time together.
After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to
finalize their break-up.
The judge asks the husband, “What has brought you to the point that
you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage
together?”
 
The husband says, “In the six weeks we’ve been together, we haven’t
been able to agree on one thing.”
 
The wife says, “Seven weeks.”.
 

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving
very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled
the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that
evening.
 
“Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads
stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then
there was something called “Happy Hour” and they served these
mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o’
those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O’ course I
had to go in for a couple of Guiness – couldn’t be rude, ye
know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for
later ..” And the man fumbled around in his coat until he
located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for
inspection.
 
The officer sighed, and said, “Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you
to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test.”
 
Indignantly, the man said, “Why? Don’t ye believe me?!?”