SillyEz.com

OK! Back in business. Been having
Here’s today’s joke. Enjoy!

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the
blind man and hands him a menu.
“I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the
menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous
customer, I’ll smell it and order from there.”
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty
dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to
the blind man’s table and hands it to him. The blind
man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep
breath. “Ah, yes that’s what I’ll have, meatloaf and
mashed potatoes.”
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks
towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner’s
wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind
man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner
mistakingly brings him a menu again. “Sir, remember me?
I’m the blind man.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. I’ll go get you a
dirty fork.”
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to
the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man
says, “That smells great, I’ll take the Macarroni and
chesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief,
the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him
and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes
in he’s going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner see’s
him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, “Mary
rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.”
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind
man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
“Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have
the fork ready for you.”
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and
says, “Hey I didn’t know that Mary worked here?”

problems on this site for a minute.

At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded
to investigations into the basketball team by suspending any
basketball player who wasn’t maintaining a passing average.
Furious, the coach came storming into the dean’s office,
followed by one of his star players.

“You can’t keep him from playing!” the coach roared. “We won’t
win this weekend without him!”

“I don’t care,” the dean said. “Things have gotten out of hand at
this college.”

“What do you mean, out of hand?” the coach demanded.

“I’ll show you what I mean,” the dean said. He turned to the
basketball player and said, “Tell me,how much is six times
seven?”

The player thought for several seconds. Then he said, “Thirty-
one?”

The dean turned to the coach and said, “I rest my case.”

“Oh, come on now,” the coach said. “Why are you making
such a big deal of it? After all, he only missed it by one.”

Brother and sister

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
‘ Sis,’ he said, ‘I wish you’d sing Christmas carols.’ ‘That’s nice of you, Alfie,’ she replied.
‘Why ?’ ‘Then I’d only have to hear you once a year !’

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He
stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely
drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so
he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way
up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear
end.
That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty
pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken
glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he
didn’t know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing,
he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure
enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired
the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to
bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting,
and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good
story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
“Well, you really tied one on last night,” she said. “Where’d you
go?”
“I worked late,” he said, “and I stopped off for a couple of beers.”
“A couple of beers? That’s a laugh,” she replied. “You got plastered
last night. Where the heck did you go?”
“What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?”
“Well,” she replied, “my first big clue was when I got up this
morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror.”

One night, I told my four-year-old son the story of Noah and the ark. I gave him the full treatment, complete with animal sounds and detailed descriptions
of the beasts arriving two by two. At the end, I asked him if he had any questions. He had just one: “Where were you hiding?”

Car and train

If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing? There
is no smoke from an electric train!

Fishing

Henry’s son, David, burst into the house, crying.
His mother asked him what the problem was.
“Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish.
Really big.
Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.” “Now come on, David,” his mother said, “a big boy like you shouldn’t be crying
about an accident like that.
You should have just laughed it off.” “But that’s just what I did, mommy.”

Ethnic

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.
“Sid,” asked Al, “are there any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Sid replied.
“Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied,
and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir.
No, Chinese Jews.” “Are you sure?” Al asked.
“I will check again, sir,” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China.
Our people are scattered everywhere.” When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.” “Are you really sure?” Al asked again.
“I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.” “Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated.
“We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chin ese Jews.”